A Man for the Heartbreaker
by Cat with Bat
Summary: She ate men up - chewed on their livers and spat out their hearts. [NejiTen]


**A Man for the Heartbreaker**

* * *

It was a secret, mainly in the fact that no one bothered to reveal it.

This bit of information was highly acknowledged by only those that knew of the fact in the first place. They did not bother to tell anyone, nor were they ever prompted to talk about the topic.

All in all, Neji considered this to be a very good secret to keep.

Because, honestly, who would ever expect his tomboyish sparring partner, Tenten, to be a mass heartbreaker - for Hyuga men no less?

He was reminded of this, watching Tenten yet again strut into the gates of the Hyuga compound, holding the scruff of the latest guy to disappoint her, and dropped him unceremoniously to the hard-packed ground.

Neji hated to admit it but she was rather pretty when pissed off. Like clockwork he braced himself, knowing what would happen next now that the lioness has brought back the kill.

"_Neji!_"

Within seconds he extricated himself from his hiding spot, standing before his best friend with concealed passiveness. In the beginning he would try to run, or chastise her for beating up his cousins, but coming out immediately and waiting until she allowed him to speak procured a less shuriken-and-senbon result.

Her glare burned with the flare of another date displeasing her ungodly standards. Whoever said that Tenten wasn't a girly-girl had obviously never seen her actually try. With her main focus on becoming stronger, her feminine tendencies don't get to shine as often - not that she particularly cared if people called her a tomboy. She was fiery like that.

"That's the third this month," she growled, a deep purr that caused the adrenaline to begin pumping within the prodigy's veins - an experience he was only use to when on missions. The feeling outside of battle was oddly... thrilling.

"Maybe if you dated them for more than a week you would find one you favor." Neji kept his voice calm as his heartbeat began to pulsate between his ears. He looked down at the mousey woman who treated his cousins like trash, one again admiring the reactions she caused him.

She was down for the kill. Hair and make-up gave her a wild, feral look; the mascara and eye shadow heightening the stinkeye she gave freely. A flowing dress exposed her shoulders, going down to mid-thigh and leading into the ash nylon stockings that covered her plump legs down into those murder-weapons she nicknamed 'stilettos'. On her wrists were golden bangles, earrings glinting at the sides of her head, and a tote was carried in her hand probably stuffed with her wallet, lip gloss, and poisoned senbon.

Neji swallowed, giving her a contemplative once-over. She turned her head to look down at the guy she had just dumped. This one was Hirashi, an older Hyuga who was just another sucker thinking he could tame the 'dragon mistress', as Tenten was often called by potential suitors. Not that she knew this.

"Maybe if the Hyuga learned how to woo a girl they'd be able to stay for a week!" Tenten grumbled, noticing the various Hyuga males that were crowded in the halls around them. Some were in awe at her, others seething from past rejection. Turning back to Neji she frowned. "You pick the worst candidates. Too cocky. Too greedy. Too stupid! Guh, it's like you do this on purpose!"

Hmm, maybe she had a point. Ever since they were genin and Tenten swooned at the idea of dating the top rookie of the year, Sasuke Uchiha, Neji had been trying to get her to date a Hyuga instead. It began with his pride, as it always did, refusing to let _Uchiha_ turn his sparring partner into a goo-goo-eyed admirer such as Sakura or Ino.

To his chagrin, his first attempt went poorly. It was his closest relative besides Hinata, during his hospital stay from his attempt to bring back the same bastard that nearly stole Tenten's heart. The boy's name was Kurow, a dashing lad who had already found Neji's female teammate to be rather attractive. When asked if she would accept his cousin's proposal, Tenten astonished him by replying with an exuberant 'yes'.

For almost a week Neji watched Kurow come back home on cloud nine, an empty feeling in his own chest as he noticed how happy the other was. Then, on the sixth day, Tenten came marching into the archaic clan's front gate brandishing Kurow's unconscious body, dressed in an outfit Neji didn't even know she owned, and deposited him at the prodigy's feet with a huff.

"This guy's a shriveled dickweed," she supplied, the first of many future insults to the good Hyuga name.

After that, in an attempt to please her Neji offered up another cousin. Everything went well in the beginning, as it often did, until the sixth day where Tenten was once again unloading a body while demanding another in the same sentence.

Lost in his memories, it took Neji a beat to reply. "I don't," he said steadily, eying the various Hyugas' behind him with their gleaming white eyes. "I'll help you, whatever it takes. I'm sure one of them is the one."

At that Tenten rolled her eyes. "I swear you're lucky your family's a rabbit den or else I'd have to start picking your sisters instead. C'mon, Hirashi didn't even get me lunch before he lost."

She turned on her heel, the unrestrained bits of hair whipping the air as she stalked off. Neji didn't need Byakugan, nor years of refined talent, to know where his cousin's - and slightly his own - gazes were resting upon Tenten's retreating form. Tenten's other nickname-she must-not-know-of was rather fitting for someone of her... proportions.

Neji followed Tenten to the marketplace, trying to decide which relative he was going to throw to the lion's den next week. Had he not been the genius of the clan he would have had a lot of angry cousins after him.

"Where should we eat?"

"Whatever you want."

"I want Jenny's."

"You want who?"

Tenten took a moment to peer at him with contempt. Neji spent the rest of the walk in shamed muteness.

Once seated Neji recollected himself for his upcoming question. "In what ways did Hirashi lose?"

Sipping some ice tea Tenten crinkled her nose. "He couldn't find the fucking clitoris."

"Oh." The prodigy attempted to internalize the fact that his cousin was an idiot. As well as in his teammate's pants. "I promise the next one will know of that specific region."

Tenten crossed her arms. "Face it. The only reason your clan is so big is because no one knows what a condom is."

"Times are changing. I know."

"Because you were hit in the face with one on that mission in Rice. You thought it was a slug until I told you!"

Neji was beginning to feel his ears turn warm. "A white plastic slug-like object hurdles at you as you open a door. I reacted in a common fashion."

The brown-eyed kunoichi took another sip of her drink. "You squealed and fell backwards." The food arrived and they both thanked the waiter. Tenten took a second to admirer the departing backside.

In that time Neji bit into his food hoping it was poisoned. "Like I said, common fashion."

"Which you obviously lack." Tenten didn't bother hiding a snort as she eyed his white robes.

For some inane reason Neji felt the need to defend himself on his wardrobe. "These are traditional."

"They're see-through when wet. _Very_ see-through." She threw him a wink, which only fueled the heat burning in the Hyuga's gut. "And they look like pajamas."

"It's a thick cotton material from... you know what, nevermind. As for your attire, it's also white, silken, and your pants have holes on the side for some unfathomable reason."

Tenten smirked his way. She had not even touched her food, merely staring him down the entire conversation. It made Neji feel like _he_ was the meal. "One," she said, voice lowering to a deeper pitch that did horrible things to Neji's hormone levels. "I wear white because it's harder to see me in the sky when I jump up. Two," she continued as she edged ever nearer to the defenseless Hyuga, "the silk is thin and carries less air resistance while also storing my scrolls. And three." Now she was leaning over the table, hand reaching to the back of his neck that made Neji take a sharp inhale through his nose. "The holes in my pants allow for more weapon access and I can fasten on Big Ryu easily as well."

All she was doing was giving matter-of-fact information yet somehow Neji had a boner. He looked at her, miffed and confused and rather turned on. For a beat he was even confused as to whom Big Ryu was, only to remember it was the massive scroll Tenten stored most of her armory in.

He must be losing it.

"Tell me, how long have you been jealous?" Her fingers, each digit he could feel on his sensitive neck, padded its way up the base to the back of his scalp before trickling down in a rhythmic trail. "Of every guy I ever kissed that wasn't you. Every man who held me in his arms at night. Every male I ever had eat me out before discarding them. Did it make you burn, Neji? Did it make you _hot?_"

His face couldn't have gotten redder. All the heat in his body was either in his cheeks or in his dick. Just _what_ were girls taught in their sex ed class at the academy?

"You...," he swallowed, finding it difficult to accomplish. "You make me feel... like I have a fever."

Tenten smiled. "I'm a virus that is causing your immune system to fight off infection by raising its body temperature? That's sexy." Neji narrowed his eyes at the jibe. "Calm down. I'm touched, I really am."

"This isn't going to be a game," he felt himself growl, his words treading upon a tightrope. If he was going to enter the lions den he didn't want to look at all the bones lying about, wondering if he would be striped bare like the ones before him. "I've been in love with you for five years, Tenten, ever since the academy. I don't want to be just a hunk of meat like my cousins were."

Her expression turned sad then, worrying Neji that the plunge he was taking was wrong. Her hand slipped down to his reddened cheek, thumb caressing underneath his eye. Neji held his breath, the molten air around them ready to combust.

"You're awkward," she breathed, pulling him closer with her other arm as he tried desperately to pull back. He felt like looking away, to the cheap decor of the restaurant or the other patrons enjoying their lunch, anything but what he was seeing in Tenten's gaze. "Let me finish," her voice told him testily, keeping him rooted as he leaned over the table, "Neji you're an awkward, gangly tower of muscle and no humor whatsoever. You wear pajamas and have hair longer than Naruto's ramen bill. Your idea of getting a girl is hooking her up with every family member but themself. You make slips about lesbianism when you don't pay attention. You're afraid of flying condoms. You get wet over clothing practicality. You are literally presenting yourself to me as everything your other cousins were not. Just what could you _possibly_ give me?"

It'd hurt more if he wasn't already crushed. Her words rung true. When he thought about it he knew he wouldn't be able to treat her to nice meals or make her laugh. There was no way he'd be able to make her happy.

Finally he stopped resisting - he had lost anyways. His eyes were closed now, mouth a sad line as he leaned into her warm touch. Minutes ago he was heating up, now he was too cold to even shiver.

"I just want to be with you. And love you. And- everything with you." It was a flimsy proposal. Watery and bottomed down with his rejection. Unlike his relatives, who often became furious at their curt dismissals, all he wanted to do was lie down, his energy going out like a light.

Then, warmth.

Neji opened his eyes as he felt Tenten get up and walk around the table to his side, her hand never leaving his skin as she sat on his lap.

"Tenten, you don't have to make me feel better. You have no obligation to return my affections." He was rather unhappy at the moment. All he wanted to do was mope under his bed covers, not get a lap dance from the woman of his dreams.

Her laughter mocked him. "If you wanted to give me your love all you had to do was tell me." She pecked him on the chin, snuggling up to him as that flame returned as an ember. "_That's_ something the other guys didn't offer."

"But they can make you smile, laugh, and be happy." What was he doing? He was getting the girl, yet, instead of being joyous, he was shoving more cousins at her. Neji was beginning to think this was a defense mechanism.

Tenten rolled her eyes. "Yeah, they can. But you can too. Ever wonder why I haven't skewered you yet?"

"Because I'm a Jounin and you're a Chunin?" She flicked his nose.

"Don't push it, bub." Then, to make up for it she kissed him on the lips.

Neji felt like smiling - though, he didn't. Being horny, then depressed, and now happy was too much for his emotionally stunted capacities to handle so he settled for a light tilt on the side of his mouth.

"I'll fall in love with you. I'll date you. I'll marry you. I'll everything with you, as you so eloquently put it."

At this Neji chuckled. "Really?" he had to be certain.

Tenten gave him a mischievous grin. "If you know where the clitoris is."

A year later, turns out Neji didn't. That's okay because Tenten everything-ed with him anyways.

* * *

**A/N:** duuuude I can't log into my other account (Paper Lanters and Yogurt) so I went to my other account I thought I could lock down in my basement for all eternity. Don't fucking read those fics you buttlickers they don't deserve attention.

Here's a short fic. Sums up my main themes aptly: almost-porn and vagina jokes. I'm classy. Just asking but anyone have ideas they'd like to pitch? Trying to exercise my 133t writing sk1llzz.


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